How often do you react to a situation you perceive as conflict rather than consider it a two-sided conversation? No one likes to compromise because it feels like a defeat when each person involved must relinquish something.
Consider a flow of the Five C’s – Conflict. Calm. Conversation. Creativity. Collaboration.
In order to
achieve Collaboration, calm must precede conversation and negotiation.
Here's a simple scenario. With one orange and two individuals, one wants a
drink, the other wants to make orange cake. If they split the orange in half,
they will not have a desired result.
Moving to the next level of thinking –
creativity, they need to take time to consider what each person
actually needs from the orange. One person needs the juice, the other needs the
pulp and rind. If they consider how to collaborate in this way, both will have something
not considered before; not half of what’s needed.
The next time you find
yourself in a conflict situation, consider the other C’s.
l. Move away
from the heat and emotion of the conflict. Discuss a subject far removed; even
2. In calm conversation, ask just what each person needs. Take
notes, do not talk, just listen to the other person’s viewpoint.
time away and write what you heard. Make two columns. In the first write
what you heard. In the second, respond with your needs and views.
Consider how a third situation will move beyond compromise and into
5. Return to conversation. Develop a metaphor to represent the
idea of collaboration. How can you peel the orange?
requires creativity, patience, time and thought. You will benefit
from the results and wisdom gained.
Try peeling the orange today.