Break from the Ordinary

 

How do the seasons know
They must change their shirt?

Why so slowly in winter
and later with such a rapid shudder?
- Pablo Neruda

Constructing a scene with sensory details permits the writer's spirit to percolate into writing. To define emotions, an image from nature assists.  

Clouds over the sea present a beginning. From there, shapes and sizes frolic into a variety of forms.

Asking questions of the senses increases details. 

What would clouds feel like on the arms and legs when someone passes through them?  

If clouds ran along the beach which sounds would accompany them?

Which questions evoke nuances?

What do clouds reflect in a puddle? 

Do they smell like carnations and taste like a vanilla and banana milkshake? 

Will the mood change by adding chocolate?

Once the imagery floats upon the page, it provides the possibility to add layers.

What a better world we'd have if everyone shared a morning upside down and inside out.  

By asking questions to expand the image, the writer does not have to tell the reader what to feel. 

The message resides in the details. 

When we take the opportunity to break from the ordinary and move out of a mind set, it clicks our imaginations into a fresh gear.

Ideas and ways to view our life's challenges appear from the inside out with a variety of connections.

 

What do you have hiding inside?

 

Approach the day upside down. Go inside and out.

Discover a Crossroads Experience

When arriving at a choice in the road opportunity awaits for travel in one of four directions.

Pause and linger. 

Steep yourself in the mystery of a transition that looms. 

Pay attention to the feelings that arise as you visualize the experiences awaiting along each path.

Cement paves some areas are; others fill with leaves or grass.

Find a direction. Stay with it.

Make a change.

Let curiosity finds its way.

Shapes and shadows create moods.


Barriers and bridges beckon. Where do they lead? 

Call on memories of water crossings for guidance. 

Engage in all the sounds
and scents on the journey.








Create stories from discoveries.

Become receptive to inspiration revealed in a crossroads experience.

A Friend to Yourself

"Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it 

one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Call it self-esteem or self-assurance. Both involve self-awareness. Self-friendship encompasses all terms and reflects the most strength. 

What does it mean to become a friend to yourself?




Juliana Breines and Serena Chen, in their study of self-esteem at The University of California, Berkeley, determined that "self-compassion" can unlock one's true potential. Their term defines a way of looking at one's mistakes and shortcomings with kindness and understanding.

If one can face difficulties without judging or by not defending the ego, it can lead to a higher level of personal well-being, optimism and happiness. As a result, an individual may feel less anxiety and depression.




When Brienes and Chen studied high achievers, they discovered individuals did not "lower the bar." They became self-compassionate while accepting responsibility for their performance and goals. They asked participants to take either a self-compassionate or self-esteem enhancing view of a setback or failure. 

When requested to reflect on a personal weakness, some were asked, “Imagine that you are talking to yourself about this weakness from a compassionate and understanding perspective. What would you say?”




If they wanted individuals to focus on boosting their self-esteem, the researchers queried, “Imagine that you are talking to yourself about this weakness from a perspective of validating your positive qualities. What would you say?” 




Those who experienced self-compassion viewed their weaknesses as changeable. They felt motivated to improve and avoid the same mistake in the future.

Increased motivation led to superior performance. In one study, participants who failed an initial test were given a second chance to improve their scores. Individuals who took a self-compassionate view of earlier failure studied twenty-five percent longer and scored higher on a second test than participants who focused on bolstering their self-esteem.

Why is self-compassion so powerful?  The researchers discovered power comes from becoming non-evaluative. Pushing the ego out of the picture, one can confront flaws and foibles. If a realistic sense of abilities and actions results, an individual can figure out what needs changing for the next time.

When focus means protecting self-esteem, individuals cannot face issues with honesty. Realizing the need for improvement means acknowledging weaknesses and shortcomings. These threats to self-esteem create feelings of anxiety and depression. 




The notion of self-compassion involves becoming a Best Friend to yourself. An internal dialogue develops that hugs and motivates. 

Self-friendship involves the ability to make mistakes and move on. Learning from the mistakes takes creative thinking and problem solving abilities. Humor lights the way.




The How becomes a lifelong process of befriending the self.

 

The candle is within you. Protect it. Don't let the world blow it out! 

 - Jordan Hasay, world class runner at the University of Oregon

In what ways will you befriend yourself?