If you don't win, you learn.

Fortitude is the guard and support of the other virtues. ~John Locke

Expectations along with disappointments flavor life. Self-esteem reigns supreme from the inside out when attempting anything. Often courage takes us beyond where we thought we could go.

We learn from disappointment that winning does not mean everything. We might gain from losing the game, the contest, even the object of desire.

I took me until my freshman year in college to begin to focus on understanding the process. As a competitive athlete throughout high school, I won in a variety of sports. It provided confidence and encouraged expectations. My ability to outlast most opponents served me well. Losing always felt strange but never defeated my inner resolve. The sun would shine and I'd win again.

When I did not make the make the l00 select women for a Honors Group my freshman year of college,  it jolted me. I checked the list in wonder. Then scanned it again. Why didn't my name appear?

Moving through the next weeks and trying to understand my loss, I began to realize the results did not depend upon my performance in the interview. My achievements spoke for themselves. A committee made a judgment from its perspective.

Gradually, beyond the disappointment, I learned about the whim of the audience. Time had arrived to  give my best and let the results go.

My credibility intact, I continued to benefit from that lesson. Rejections from editors went to my, "Their Missed Opportunity File." I felt the disappointment, got over it and benefitted from the experience regardless of outcome. Humor always won the day.

In speaking competitions with Toastmasters, speeches I felt confident about landed upon an unresponsive audience. Those I struggled through enchanted others. Once again, learning about others' opinions put their responses in the right perspective. Laughter energized.

Although losing can cloud a day, I smile, search for the positive and believe, If you don't win, you learn. This helps to develop resilience. Different approaches or choices the next time may provide another outcome.

Creative Write: What does it take to accomplish a goal of writing?  Can you outlast your fears, frustrations and blank page?  Recall a time you felt confident and things did not work out because of the audience's opinion. Write about what you gained from not winning.