Emotional Triggers

A monk rattled around in a constant state of upset and depression. When another monk tried to help him out of his gloomy mindset, the first monk said, "Look at the Master. He has outbursts of anger."

"Ah, that is so," replied the other monk. "But, notice that his anger is like lightning. It strikes to the heart of the target and then is gone. The sun shines again."

Often we react with behavior that doesn't reflect what we want to reveal to the world. We carry our emotions around with us instead of setting them free.   

Once we recognize it's impossible to avoid feelings of anger, sadness, frustration or other negative emotions, we can control our relationship to them.  We need to recognize the negative thoughts that accompany them. What positive action can replace the potential for negative behavior?

With awareness, we can feel the emotions arrive, pause and learn what they have to teach us.  Then we can choose not to react with negativity.

Everyone has emotional triggers. Here are a few: a hurtful comment from someone, standing in long lines, green lights turning to red just as you arrive, being put on hold during phone calls. 

When situations arise that trigger angst, use your mind to its best advantage. Develop a key phrase or sing a tune before responding. 

Take a few deep breaths to re-center. Open yourself to possibiities.  

Laugh, laugh and laugh again.  

Let lightning strike in the solitude of your mind.  Then let the sunshine out.

Choose three situations that trigger your negative emotions. 

Write three responses for each to show how to react in a more positive way. See what happens if you use your positivity when they arise again.

A Way to Start the Day

"When you awaken tomorrow, stretch your arms and legs without opening your eyes. After three or four minutes, begin to laugh. Keep your eyes closed," suggests Barbara Ann Kipfer.


Even if it feels forced at first, the laughter will move you into a genuine sense of fun and joy.

Lose yourself for five minutes.  

Try it for a week. Every morning, start the day with laughter.




Notice how it will change the nature of each day.

Belief Systems

Occasionally we need to take a look at ways to update our belief systems. How do we define a spiritual practice, ideals, a goal, or a relationship?  Which principles need to grow or change?  If we open up to wonder about why we believe, the potential expands for knowledge and a renewal of understanding.

A curious mind moves in myriad directions. It collects ideas, amazements, and amusements. Gaining new information on all levels of life requires collating and considering possibilities. We add to our mosaic of experience by taking in variety and refining pieces for personal use. Communication with diverse individuals requires blue sky thinking.

Renew. Revise. Revitalize.

Consider a belief, an ideal and a relationship. Write to expand your knowledge in each area. Then respond from a view opposed to your own. 

Notice insights gained.

Hummingbird Tales

I saw it all from my green sky.

I had no more alphabet

than the swallows in their courses,

the tiny shining water

of the small bird on fire

which dances out of the pollen. 

- Pablo Neruda

If we consider possibility that dinosaurs evolved into birds, imagine Brontosaurus Rex shrink into a hummingbird body. What a change had to occur from a bulky creature who walked on thick legs and shook the earth with each step? 

An amazement of technology, a hummingbird can fly upside down and backwards while dipping its beak and tongue into flower nectar.

Where did the jewel of glitter first open its eyes? In Peru and other South American countries a variety of hummingbirds exist. They flew to the rain forest and the high peaks of the Andes. Hummingbirds arrived in Argentina and Mexico. One species even made it to Alaska.

The Quechan people of present-day Ecuador tell stories of how the hummingbird represents a variety of attributes such as wisdom, optimism and agility. One story tells of a fire in a forest where many animals live. The hummingbird carries single drops of water back and forth from the pond to try to put out the firs. When the other animals ask why, the bird replies, "I am doing what I can."

Find your hummingbird connection.

Aspects of Friendship

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” - C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves 

“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.” - Muhammad Ali

Photographs and cute sayings abound in the search for an explanation of friendship. Writers often delve into friendship's concept using abstract descriptions. What does C.S. Lewis mean by, "value to survival"? To communicate, a writer must show instances of emotion and affection.

Write to reveal how a friendship looks, feels, and sounds. Do taste and scent have meaning in a relationship? Will humor and play energize friends?

Examine a situation of friendship to demonstrate its intensity and meaning in a scene that shows how individuals connect.

Friends surprise one another with the unexpected. When have you felt the strength of caring from a friend?

Describe a time of need, beyond expectation, when a friend came through for you.

What behavior didn't you anticipate?

Add a time of disappointment and how it affected the relationship. Did expectation get in the way of necessity?

Do you ever feel like a one-way street?  How do you request reciprocity?

Consider a situation when you could have asked more of friendship.

Have you lost a friendship?  Why?  How might you rediscover that friend with a new perspective?

Take a break. 

Write about ways you can become a better friend to yourself. How does self-talk assist your daily process? In what ways do you consider yourself your Best Friend?

Delve into all aspects of friendship.

Write a note or an email to a friend to express gratitude. Add what causes frustration in the relationship. In your note, recall your ideas of a simple act of friendship.

Begin with, "I remember when you . . . "

Reveal details to make it real.

Find the Fun.

Have a Ducky Day

How many ways can you expand an animal word?

duck  - Something you do with your head. A fun time.

bear  -  Can you bear it, get bare or bear down?

bull   -  Get into a bull market or bull session.

horse -  Horse around and have some fun.


Select a few animals and use their characteristics to define your meaning.

Could you seagull into your sandwich?  Do you hummingbird through tasks?

Why turtle today?  Just worm your way.  Get out and play.

Will you canary a poem or song?

The Discomfort Zone

Karen Pryor, who started out as a dolphin trainer, wrote a book, Don’t Shoot the Dog.  It deals with operant conditioning promoted by B.F. Skinner and how positive reinforcement works.  If one catches someone performing well and rewards for it, the next response will result in a similar behavior. The longer the positive reinforcements continue, the stronger the response to the stimulus. 

Why do we notice what doesn’t work so often in ourselves and others? No one in any endeavor has benefitted from someone negating them during the learning stages.

We need to worry less and reward ourselves for accomplishments. Deal with the moment and move on.  

We can always find five ways out of a frustration by writing about it. It toggles the brain away from negative thinking.

How we deal with risk and mistakes determines our success. If we can find energy to continue during a situation's discomfort, we will reinforce tendencies to continue when faced with similar challenges. 

A ten percent area exists in everyone’s psyche. We need to access this area in order to achieve excellence and move beyond any roadblocks to our progress.  

It takes courage to make mistakes and try another way.

Ways to move toward new ground involve thinking of techniques that worked in the past in this area of frustration. Try to see it as a necessary part of the process even though it doesn’t feel good.

Use creative thinking to spark the day. Laughter promotes new approaches to old issues. Dance into the discomfort zone.

Let Go with the Season Change

It's time to permit 

catsup drips to fall.

Let fear melt into love.

Don't keep everything in a row,

No lining up shoes or apples,

No towels like soldiers.

Let the unraveling begin. Relax

One finger, an ear, or toe bone. 
Go for uneven and spaced out.

Have the floor sort laundry.

Socks are loners,

Let the dryer cannibalism begin.

Watch the leaves bunch,

Twirl and toss to earth.
Find the breeze.

Color in the open vowels.

Fill in the loops of g’s and j’s.

Don’t keep within the lines.

Broach the borders of accord

With a hoard of words.

Let the sundial slow.