The Comedy of Criticism

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.  

- Bill Cosby

Many writers have felt the rampage of a teacher's red pen across a story. I have heard a variety of complaints from writing students. Fear still follows them from the incidents.

My mind wanders back to one teacher who will remain nameless. She scribbled over, around and poked through the blue lines on my paper. Ink spewed in red to drown my tender words. 

In one margin she wrote that she could not read my writing. I had to hold the paper upside down and turn it sideways to read hers. A frog had better penmanship. She did not defeat me. With a fist, I pumped the paper into the sky, light slanting through the holes she'd made.  My pen mightier than her sword, I laughed and wrote her into a story. The stories kept spilling from my pen inspite of her tirade across my pages.

Years later, during a writing conference, I stayed at the home of a psychologist. She felt concern after listening to my thoughts about a critiquing session. I had mouthed a few metaphors of ravage and rampage that troubled her. She questioned my misplaced emotions and what she called my "inappropiate use of humor." 

I explained my survival skills to manage negativity and others' insecurities. By the end of the evening I had persuaded her that my use of humor defused most situations.

Humor and lighthearted reactions always help writers deal with criticism that has other issues interwoven. No one responds without emotions or with true objectivity. Some opinions arrive from fragile places.

Do you feel challenged by criticism?  Try these suggestions to avoid taking critiques too personally. Inject comedy into others' judgment of your work.

1. Pay close attention to the emotion behind the words used in the critique. What is the point of view?  Does the person criticizing have his or her own issue intermingled? If the criticism is oral, take notes. 

2. Don’t react. Avoid becoming defensive. Just listen. Relax and breathe before reading editing comments from friends, an editor or teacher. Stay in a place of receptivity to the criticism. If misunderstandings of meaning occur, you can clarify them with a variety of word choices. Stay openhearted and not apologetic. 

3. Delay your response after a reaction. Take a break before responding in email.  Wait a day. If a deadline doesn't loom, wait three days. Often no action works better than an action resulting from anger. Write those words to yourself and put them away. How would your favorite comedian approach the situation?

4. Consider any errors you made. Accept responsibility for your work without making excuses. Conjure your self-belief from the inside out. Do what needs to be done and get on with it. 

5. Make Failure a Friend. Re-frame the notions of failure and criticism. It's just another's opinion. Remind yourself of your successes. Write to make yourself laugh. Then, rework the writing. 

During a writing career, everyone has had someone who offered criticism that struck to the core. Remind yourself of this creature and write him or her into a story. The healthiest sense of self develops as a result of easing over the wounds from the inside not letting scars form.  

A writer needs to nurture sensitivity not develop a hard shell. Stay flexible and free from self-doubt by writing about it. Tickle your funny bone. Communicate with comedy.